Hi Reecie,

Ok so to make a long story short…I met this guy just a few weeks before I flew off to college in another state. But when I got to school we made this huge connection and decided to get together even thought it was a long distance relationship. After three years he broke up with me, because the distance thing was taking a toll on the both of us, and he wanted to “hang out” with other females and didn’t want to put me in the position to get hurt or himself in the position to cheat.

After a few months me and my ex started talking again and he started confessing his love for me again. At this point my feelings were resurfacing as well so I decided to give him another chance and see where it would take us. He was messing with some other female at the time but told me that she was only temporary and that when I finally graduated we would work on our relationship. I told him that if he wanted to be with me then he had to kick her to the curb. So he did and we started working on our relationship. It was time for me to come home on another break so I’m all excited thinking everything was working out. But I was wrong.

I get home and everything is good. Got a key to his apartment…life is peachy for about a week. Then all of a sudden he tells me that he feels weird around me, he can’t be himself around me anymore…yadda yadda yadda. So I give him back his key and finish off my break and go back to school. Not too long after I find out that he’s back messing with that one chick.

Maybe two months later my birthday rolled around and I was at home with my friends celebrating and he texts me saying happy birthday. So a couple of days later I call him and he comes over and I’m all nervous and we are talking and joking around and as we are saying goodbye he kissed me on my forehead…then on my cheek (mind you he is with that girl). So I go ahead and try to kiss him on the lips but he backs away…but then does it himself.

So I went back to school thinking that just maybe we have another shot together after he gets over this little floozy he calls his girlfriend. Then all of a sudden I get this phone call from him asking me if I was calling his girlfriend. So now I’m like wow…what on earth would I be calling her for. Also, I tried asking him about what happened at my house but he got all nervous and defensive and said that it didn’t mean anything and that he did it because he hadn’t seen me in a while and because he knew he wouldn’t see me for another while. So then maybe a month later she wants to call me and get information. I guess she’s been having trust issues with him because he would lie to her and she would find out the truth. So me being the nice person that I am I didn’t dog him out or anything because I could have easily told the girl that he was at my house and that we kissed. But I kept it all to myself. And as SOON as I got off the phone with this chick here he comes calling me asking me if I’m trying to break them up. I’m like wow…if i wanted to break ya’ll two love birds up then all I had to do was tell her about the moment at my house. So that shut him up real quick.

She wanted to see his phone records and what not and so he called me again talkin about how she was going to break up with him if she saw my number on his phone records. This chick is crazy! So he asks me to call her on three way and tell her that he didn’t call me and what not so me being the nice person that I am I did. So the next day he comes callin me but this time he called just thank me for calling her for him. I asked if everything had worked out but he told me that she broke up with him. After that we talked once a few months later when I called his mom for mother’s day and he just so happened to be there. He asked me about graduation and when I was coming home and stuff. 

So I graduate and come home (I have been home for about a week and some change now). His mom sent me a graduation card with $100 in it so of course I called to thank her and she was so excited that I was back home and told me that we had to do lunch some time. Then she told me that my ex’s grandfather had passed away. I knew his grandfather so I thought it would only be right if I tried to make the services. So when I got off the phone with his mom I sent him a text message saying that I was sorry to hear about his grandfather and to let me know when the service was going to be so that I could make it. He never responded. So I text him the next day saying the same thing…he never responded. So then I just decided to call…and that’s when I realized that he had changed his number.

I never got to make it to the funeral and now I’m driving myself crazy because he’s all I’ve been able to think about for the past 5 months. I tried taking my mind off of it by meeting other guys but I always find myself wishing it was him or missing him even more. Should I just move on and hope that one day it’ll all work out for the better? Or should I try and let him know how I feel?

Signed,
Going Crazy

Hi Going Crazy,
 
To be frank, I think you are definitely wasting your time with this guy. The fact that he had you calling his girlfriend to explain that you two had nothing going on (even though he kissed you) makes it painfully evident that he has zero concern for your feelings or any desire whatsoever to rekindle any kind of romance. If he had even an ounce of care or hell even if he was trying to mess around with you on the side, then he wouldn’t have involved you in his relationship problems.
 
I think the problem here is not that he had another girlfriend, but that he just lost interest in having a relationship with you. I’m sure it had more to do with the fact that he didn’t want to maintain a long distance relationship than anything else. Now that you are back home for good, if he really had lingering feelings for you, he would’ve contacted you by now. The fact that he changed his number and didn’t include you on his “this is my new number” distribution text shows that he does not want you to be a part of his life anymore. I know that’s harsh, but changing the number and neglecting to give it to you was most likely not unintentional. However, that’s not to say that after seeing you around town for a while or even better seeing you with another man he won’t be back in your face…DON’T FALL FOR IT! You know what they say…”first time shame on you, second time shame on me”.
 
My advice is that you move on with your life and don’t try and rekindle any sort of relationship…whether it is romantic or just friendly. You said that this guy was blowing your head up talking about how much he loved you and wanted to be with you, but when you guys got back together the good times didn’t even last a week…so that tells me that he isn’t even worth all the drama you’ve endured with him or all of the feelings you still have attached to him. You just graduated from college, you’re young, you are obviously a nice girl (maybe too nice considering that you didn’t put ol’ boy on blast even though I think the average woman would’ve), so you shouldn’t be concerned about someone who isn’t reciprocating your feelings. Once you’ve moved on…expect for him to come crawling back but please have enough sense to leave it alone for good!

Signed,
Reecie

What do you guys think about Going Crazy’s situation? Should she give up on being wit the guy or go for it one last time? Do you think her being back home for good will make him more interested in her? If he does try to pursue her again, should she give him another chance? 

Need advice? Send me an email at askreecie@gmail.com. If I decide to post your letter on the site, your identity will remain anonymous.